"Boy those French! They have a different word for everything” - Steve Martin

Except sometimes they don’t.

It’s difficult enough learning a passionate language spoken at speed with an accent and enormous vocabulary…fold in the fact that so many words sound the same and a foreigner can be completely befuddled.

I mean it’s natural that a nation enamored by baking elect a president with a name like a cookie, but you can’t expect us to hear the subtle difference between dessert and a political dissertation! Wear this fun shirt as a graphic reminder which is Macron and which is a macaron so you end up at Ladurée instead of the Élysée.

Bresson meets Banksy on this fun design that stencils some of Paris’ most iconic street photography characters together in one scene.

Doisneau’s couple from the Hotel de Ville, his musician carefully holding an umbrella (originally protecting his instrument but now shielding lovers against the elements), and Willy Ronis’ running boy with baguette all meet up in this crossover homage to classic images.

Show your knowledge and love of Paris street photography with this fun reinterpretation of some of the genre’s seminal moments.

Americans accustomed to reading mild admonitions about hazards the Surgeon General has determined are often taken aback by the stark smoking warning plastered across European cigarettes.

Big, bold, black letters blatantly announce that FUMER TUE (SMOKING KILLS) across stickers that dominate each pack…whenever I see them sitting like death itself in the middle of a socializing table, I think they should be offset with a softening message that alleviates some of the gloom.

Perhaps a bold claim that drinking can revive…or a reminder that clopes may be murderous but crêpes are delightful, and will satisfy rather than kill. To some it may baffle, but to me the juxtaposition spurs giggles and gives some hope to the smokers.

Put an optimistic spin on the grim warning label that you can wear across your chest with this fun tee shirt.

When some think of Parisian streets, they imagine grand boulevards marked by iconic signs….others conjure images captured by the masters of street photography who promulgated the craft on charming local rues. Why not combine the two?

This fictional sign based on actual Parisian design declares that the streets of Paris are available for Doisneau, Cartier-Bresson, Ronis…and YOU!

The City of Lights is filled with photographers’ streets…put on this shirt and go find them.

As a street photographer you seek candid scenes from everyday life instead of poses, stares, and mouths full of “cheese!”...but modern society is conditioned to bask in the camera’s attention.

You should probably be less obvious or intrusive with your shooting...but just in case, perhaps wear this shirt to explain your expectations.

 Not truly a helpful fashion choice but a funny confession or a great gift for the street shooter in your life.

Available in English or French (birthplace of street photography and favorite urban landscape of @midlifeinparis)

Enigmatic no parking signs are ubiquitous in Paris, where street spaces are limited and unnoticed entries are everywhere concealed within aged walls. Particularly peculiar to foreigners’ eyes is that the signs make no mention of parking — featuring only an international “no” indication over the words for “night and day”

Such vague implications are metaphysically ominous. Does it mean everything is prohibited during day and night, does it mean that day and night do not exist, should we cling tightly to only dawn and dusk?

Make yourself part of the mystery and show insider knowledge of Paris with this fun shirt and graphic representation.

Traditional Parisian no parking signs make no mention of parking but impose an international “no” symbol over the words for “Day and Night”. Given the philosophical and existential nature of your average Parisian intellectual, one wonders if the signs are about parking at all, or if they make the case that there is night or day….or that temporal designations may be obliterated by posting notices.

If it works for “Night and Day”, why not the “Past and Future”?

It’s an absurd thought, but this is the city for just such notions - obliterate the time continuum, or simply ban cars parking for all of eternity with the imaginary graphic on this fun tee shirt.

One of the most recognized American brands abroad (alongside McDonald’s and Coca Cola) is a certain denim company that has been selling blue jeans for over a century.

In the last few years the logo has emerged more prominently than ever — not because of pants sales, but simple tee shirts bearing the mark that have become insanely popular.

It’s always odd to be abroad and swamped by familiar symbolism, it would be less jarring if the product in question had more of a French feel. Keeping the name phonetically similar but imbuing more meaning and local color this spoof isn’t about blue jeans or America - it’s a testimonial for life!

As an official diplomatic language, French is endowed with an infinite array of nuance, tenses, implications and poetry…it can take a lifetime to learn (and a few more to fully understand).

But if you just want to get by, the only 4-letter phrase you need to learn is “Ça va”

It’s a question, an answer, a statement, a way of life…and an entire conversation can be had uttering only this expression.

Such an exchange is imagined on this tee shirt which pokes fun at French small talk and provides reassurance that anyone can converse in the intimidating language.

Paris’ Metro is one of the world’s oldest and most extensive transit systems: 16 lines and 300+ stations crisscrossing the city moving 16 million riders each day. Sometimes it feels that they’re all on the same train.

Since this is Paris, the network prizes fashion as well as function, with thematically designed stops and iconic Guimard art deco entrances heralding access to the “Métropolitain”. This fun shirt reimagines those signs with a slight tweak to the verbiage.

“Maistropopulaire” translates roughly to “But too crowded” - a complaint you’ll hear from many Parisians, once they regain their breath after a rough ride.

French is the language of love…and love can be very vague. Accordingly, sentiment, inflection and nuance are key components that can alter any conversation en francais…or give multitudes of meanings to the same word.

“D’accord” technically means to be in agreement, but can be used by a true Parisian to convey most anything. “Agreed?” “Agreed”, “ Shall we?” “We shall”, “All good?” “All good”, “Understood?” ”I got it”.

One simple expression; add in a period, a question mark, an exclamation and the right tone of voice and suddenly you’re fluent in French.